It started at the very beginning. The beginning of time. It started with the first bite. The first bite into sin. It was there. Our hiding began.
“Where are you?” God asked Adam and Eve, even though He knew – “they hid” (Gen 3:9).
Adam and Eve were afraid because they were naked, their sin had exposed them. They feared that they would be seen for what they truly were.
I fear the same things today – 2,000 years later. I, too, hide. I hide from fear of being exposed. I hide for fear I’ll be seen for what I am.
Yesterday I sat at a large round wooden table, the smell of pizza dough fresh out of the oven and garlic toppings tickling my nose. I was sitting next to my favorite wee ones – my four year-old grandson and my 11/2 year old granddaughter.
In between bites of pizza, sauce dripping liberally over her chin and tiny hands, my granddaughter, Kenny, played her favorite game with me – a modified Hide and Seek. The game goes like this…..
Kenny pulls a napkin up over her face – while I cry out “Where is Kenny? Oh no, I’ve lost her. Where could she be?” Peels of laughter follow as she slowly pulls the napkin down over her eyes – visibly shining with delight, finally revealing her entire face and gleeful smile.
It amazes me that she fully believes she is hidden.
I wonder if that is what we look like to God?
Full sized people playing a life sized game of Hide and Seek – trying to hide ourselves- unaware that we can’t hide from the living God.
Why are we hiding? What are we afraid of?
For me, I’m plain afraid. Same as Adam and Eve.
I know me – little bits at least – and, I know it’s not all good. I want better. I long for a glimpse in the mirror of myself that doesn’t have any flaws, inside or out. So, I hold my breath – I try again, to improve – in the meantime I stay hidden.
There are so many places I hide.
I hide from my sin. I hide from God. I hide from myself. I hide from others.
If you’re like me, you put on masks to hide behind. False selves. False identities. A little better – a little more cleaned up – a little nicer – a little thinner – a little improved selves.
Some of us, myself included, have lost ourselves, somewhere behind the screens and masks we’ve used to hide and cover up – we’ve forgotten what’s behind them.
God asked Adam and Eve a question – “Where are you?” It’s a good question for me to ask myself – ‘Where am I?’, and ‘Do I want to be found?’
Honestly, I don’t always want to be. Found out. Discovered.
Seen for what I truly am – weaknesses, heartaches, insecurities and fears. What would it do to me to uncover like that? To be truly seen.
On those rare times I decide to examine myself, I look at measurements – basically, ways I measure up. For some reason, measuring myself – weighing my gifts, my skills and talents, my heritage, my assets (educational, financial, my family’s achievements, etc) – leaves me feeling more needy, more greedy, feeling a desperate need to take cover again.
While I try to measure up, I’ve noticed God’s ways seem to take us down. Down to our origins and down to His initial plan – the very forming of us at God’s very hand. The truth is – “What we are is plain to God..” (II Cor 5:11).
God knows the unwrapped me.
I’ve started a new spiritual practice the last 6 month – a simple prayer, and it’s changed things for me. It’s begun an uncovering of me.
This is the prayer – it’s a different sort of prayer – not a prayer I was taught in Sunday School – it’s a prayer of David’s….
“Search me, O God, and know me. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalm 139:23,24
God has been answering this simple prayer, over and over again. I’ve been surprised by it. My eyes have been opened. My heart has been changed. He cares deeply.
Through this process I’ve become convinced – the finding of us happens as we look to the forming of us – at the beginning of time – at God’s very hand.
God knows us. God formed us. God created our very hearts.
“You have searched me, Lord and You know me….
You are familiar with all my ways.”
Psalm 139:1-3
Our Maker knows our form and function.
He formed us with a purpose – to be a part and a partner in His good works, intricately crafted pieces in His mighty creation whole.
“We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good work which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Ephesians 2:10
So, let us go to the One who knows us and invite Him to search us and to lead us into His ways and His plans for our lives.
“He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6
**Search me, Lord. You know me. Show me where I have strayed from Your plans and Your ways and I invite You to recreate my heart to align with Yours. Your purposes are mighty. Your plans are good. Continue Your good work in me, Lord, start this day.
Joining up with Let’sHaveCoffee, Mary Geisen’s TellHisStory, Lyli’s FaithOnFire
#thisdaygodsway
Lovely post! So many of God’s truths here.
You’re most welcome to join me in a cuppa,
Bless you,
Jennifer