I chose a word for 2018. Actually, the word chose me. It’s come to me in a number of ways; none of them of my choosing.
My word continues to chase me – knocking hard on the door to my heart, ‘Hello. Is anybody there?’. I want to say ‘No.’ This word is not a word I like.
It makes me uncomfortable. Squirmy. Desperate to get away.
My word is surrender.
Surrender comes to me unexpectedly, often when I’m feeling backed against a wall, unsure of the way out. Do I push for my way – forward? Or do I yield to the quiet whisper of surrender’s wait – trust?
In this first four days of January my word has already made an appearance. My plans were ousted by life’s plans. Isn’t that what surrender looks like? My way goes to the highway. Defunct. No longer operational.
I think of the white flag that is raised in war times as a symbol of surrender. The universal ‘I give up’ sign.
No glory in that. Isn’t that defeat? Losing the battle. Giving up the fight.
Can surrender be associated with glory? Can it be a good and true way? The best way?
In God’s ever upside down kingdom, I believe surrender is a win. A ‘give it up and win’ strategy.
More of changing sides and placing yourself on the winning team. The God team. The good team. But, to do so requires taking my ‘Self’ and my rule off the game table. Not my favorite move.
If life were a card game, it would mean letting go of the ‘Me’ card and trading it in for the wild card – the God card.
A move towards God. A move of faith. Self’s white flag of surrender.
For me, this theme of surrender touches many areas of my life. My health, for one. I struggle with how I am ‘responsible’ for my health – yet, God is my healer. I surrender, Lord. In my writing, I meet many dead ends – do I go forward? I surrender, Lord. In so many little decisions and plans – the weight of my days – the how’s and why’s in my life. I surrender, Lord.
Surrender is more than letting go – for me, it is handing my issues, my control over to God. Grabbing hold of His hand. Trusting Him with the outcomes – the answers – His lead.
The Lord’s prayer says it well – Thy will be done. Truly, the prayer that never fails. Surrender’s quiet victory. May it be so, Lord, in 2018.