It had to happen and 57 1/2 seemed a good time. I’m drawn to all lists. Period. Love ‘em. Given that, it’s no surprise I’m drawn to the ‘What I Would Tell My Younger Self’ lists. So, today I give my version – oddly numbered, a little like me. It’s just in time for Emily P. Freeman’s ‘What I’m Learning’ Link Up here.
I’m in my 57 ½ year of life, but for the sake of the list the ½ refers to ‘the how’ for each item. I’m coming to see ‘the how’s’ of life are very important. Sometimes, the most important part. ‘The how’ is the attitude – our approach – to the thing we’re doing. Not. To. Be. Forgotten.
1. Accept yourself. As is. Accept yourself today – no waiting for version 7.0 you.
2. Embrace your quirkiness. These are the unique fingerprints of you – the qualities that call you out as different, special, unique. You’ve heard it before – “Be you. Nobody else can.”
3. Follow joy. Look for it. This may come a wee bit from Marie Kondu’s “The Japanese Art of Tidying Up”. Her advice – keep only those things that ‘spark joy’. To me it’s the mark of a good life – and, a godly life – joy! Don’t miss out.
4. Listen. Really listen. “Hearing is an act of the senses, but listening is an act of the will.” (Adam S. McHugh, “The Listening Life”)
5. Be a listener of God. “God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer.” (Mother Theresa)
6. This day go God’s way – remember the prayer that never fails- “Thy will be done” .
7. Be Kind to Yourself. Daily.
8. Bless your body. Stop cursing it. For me it starts with my first trip to the bathroom and that ‘Uugggh’ as I see my morning face in the mirror. Let’s just stop it. For our sakes, for our daughter’s sakes – let’s speak blessings over ourselves.
9. Control your thoughts. You and I can stop the flow – hit the Pause button. “Let the peace of Christ rule your thoughts.” (Colossians 3:15)
10. Pray. About everything. Build prayer into the very fabric of your being and your day.
11. Give thanks. About everything. For the good. For the bad. For the challenge. Always give thanks – “For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (I Thess 5:18).
12. Hold your expectations – lightly. Hold on to the things that matter – tightly (God, family, loved ones, truth). Expectations can kill joy.
13. Release the past. Let. It. Go. Pour grace and forgiveness over the experiences that brought pain, shame, guilt, embarrassment. Then, move on.
14. Forgive Yourself. Lavishly.
15. Forgive Others. Lavishly. Don’t seek to understand – seek to forgive. C.S. Lewis said it best -“Because the inexcusable in me is forgiven. I can forgive the inexcusable in others.”
16. Embrace. Often. Especially when it’s undeserved, like after you have a fight or your child makes a mistake. This is the time. Embrace.
17. Play. Often. I’m a beginner at this. I read in a marriage book by Shaunti Feldman that men especially want to have social ‘play’ activities with their wives (go to baseball game, take a run, etc..). I’ll be honest, I’m the wife who most appreciates a Saturday work day, so, I must accommodate. I must learn to play – for both our sakes.
18. Receive your people with gladness. Stop tweaking your people. Enjoy them.
19. Nourish your mind. Read. Listen. Learn.
20. Nourish your soul. With God’s Word. With God’s people. With God’s presence (prayer).
21. Nourish your body.
22. Laugh. Loudly. Laugh. Often.
23. Speak Blessings. Often. Out loud.
24. Occasionally break a family rule and have some fun together – stay up late with your kids to watch a movie, eat popcorn and ice cream sundaes for dinner (this was fun until my daughter told her teacher!).
25. Remember the oppressed. Do something about it.
26. Make Family Traditions. All this means is repeating some sweet experience over and over. Often associated with holidays, but it’s a blessing when added to daily stuff. It sets a rhythm in life that brings an expectation of joy.
27. Take a walk. Really.
28. Engage all your senses. Notice the moment – what do you see, what do you smell, what are you touching. Feel it.
29. Always make time for children. Jesus did.
30. Go barefoot on the beach or in the grass. It’s a thing.
31. Make the first words out of your mouth when a loved one comes home – be kind words.
32. Eat meals together. Bring your best self to the table – bring the funny story, your listening ears, your sweetest smile. Come to the table and bless.
33. Turn off social media. Regularly.
34. Find a favorite sit com that makes you laugh. Watch it over and over.
35. Give yourself grace when you make a mistake. Stop beating yourself up.
36. Offer your family ‘grace-overs’ – mistakes without lectures.
37. Cuddle on the couch with your loved one. Often.
38. Take the long way home. Make time to take the country drive.
39. Give yourself grace to receive some form of rest on the Sabbath. It’s a gift from God. Don’t miss it.
40. Start a regular game night. These are memory makers.
41. Make time for friends. Traditions help, such as simple birthday dinners. Friendships need nurture.
42. Value the ones you’re with. Even though you didn’t choose them – make them feel chosen.
43. Remember the value of commitments. Keep your promises. Ask forgiveness when you miss the mark.
44. Reach out to the lonely one in your midst. Notice them. Welcome them.
45. Count your blessings. “We’re a nation hungry for more joy: Because we’re starving from a lack of gratitude.” ― Brené Brown
46. Buy yourself flowers. Put them in an unexpected place – by a sink in the bathroom or kitchen. Just. For. You.
47. When you’re feeling overwhelmed – set a timer and do one task you’ve been avoiding (for me, it’s usually cleaning). It’s a stress reducer.
48. Applaud others. Always. Applaud others’ efforts – applaud their achievements – be the first to start the fan club. This deflates competition. Rah-rah!
49. Be hospitable.
50. Give up your right to be counseled by fear. Fear and faith are polar opposites – your choice – I choose faith.
51. Give up your right to have the last word. I read in one of Dallas Williard’s books about a time he spent practicing his right not to speak the last word in a theology class he taught – the students were flabbergasted. I’m impressed.
52. Be generous. To yourself. In your opinions. In your forgiveness. In your expectations.
53. Be generous. With others. In your opinions. In your forgiveness. In your expectations.
54. Minimize in some small way. Choose smallness.
55. Consider others. It gets harder – “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (Phill. 2:3)
56. Be kind. It doesn’t matter to who – just do it. “No act of kindness however small is wasted.” (Aesop)
57. Be a lifelong learner. Allow yourself to grow, to change, to try new things. Writing this blog is one of those things for me.
**I’d like to add a simple piece of wisdom from my hubby, it’s what he often utters as we’re exiting our wooden pew after church service on Sunday morning – “I come for the benediction.” So, for those of you who come for the benediction, a blessing from me to you…..
May the Lord “watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Ps 121:8) On every step that you take – the ups and the downs, the in-betweens and the waits, the trials and the triumphs, the crowded and the lonely places, may you know His presence and His peace.
Linking up with Lyli’s FaithonFire
