I remember a Sunday morning at church with my family several years ago when I was “caught” arguing with my daughter.
The worst part wasn’t the argument, but the person who saw it.
My harsh words finished, I looked up and my eyes met the eyes of one of the women I admire most at church, a national speaker at Christian conferences on family issues. She looked away quickly, embarrassed, by the scene she had just witnessed in my family. I can tell you, I was even more humiliated, wishing I had not fought with my daughter, and, wishing that she had not witnessed it.
I was probably more sick about being witnessed in this family “scene” than the argument itself.
Often, we try to “clean up” to meet with God or to be with Christians.
We try to look our best, especially at church. Better ourselves into a more holy front, or a more Christian looking life. Unlike me, you don’t want to be seen arguing with your family at church (please)!
It can look like putting on a happy face, when we don’t feel happy, or, keeping our children’s behavior in check (controlling and managing the people in our worlds) to fit with the perfect picture book life we want. The good life, the Christian life.
Pushing, shoving, controlling our life and our family’s life into ‘shape’ – Christian shape.
Hiding or putting in the closet things that don’t match with what we ‘should’ do.
Cleaning up our image, our outsides – what others see.
I think we’ve gone wrong.
Perhaps we need to stop “Keeping up Appearances”.
The holiness front, is just that – a front.
A fake façade we paste on to improve appearances, to make myself feel “better”.
Is that really what our call to holiness is – a mandate for a certain look, ordered lives, free from sins (or at least visible, obvious ones) and free from problems?
Do I need to look good to be a Christian? Wear the right face, put on the right clothes? Is holiness an outward or an inward appearance?
I was struck today by the idea that:
To me, one of the most powerful and moving statements about God’s love for us is:
“While we were yet sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Do I hear an amen?
At our worst – on our worst hair day, after our poorest decision the one that hurt us and hurt those we love; after our greatest loss, wishing we were anywhere else and anyone else, from the depths of the pit we got ourselves into.
At our worst, for our worst – Christ died for us.
God picks us up “out of the pit” – of despair, of hopelessness, of shame, of pain, and heartache.
God reaches down. God acts. God moves on our behalf.
My cleaning up won’t touch my messes, but God’s grace can remove the grunge, the dirt, the pain, the need.
“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire”
Psalm 40:2
Does anyone else need rescuing? Is anyone else in a pit of despair, of hurt, of anger, of destroyed relationships? From bad habits you can’t break? From relationships that won’t heal? From a hurt body or soul?
I think it might good to take the gleam and the shine off our holy Christian appearances, and, instead show some of the daily messes, our failures, our regrets, so that the glorious beams of God’s transforming grace to us will show through.
The real stuff. The good stuff. God’s life to us amidst the mess!
I don’t have to clean up (trust me, my messy self is loving this thought!).
I don’t need to find a new-improved version of me.
No more pretending, or dressing up to make myself ‘look the part’.
I can be me!
“Cease striving and know that I am God.”
Ps 46:10
Let’s do that! Let’s cease striving.
[tweetthis display_mode=”box”]Let’s stop trying to perfect our lives and our family’s lives.[/tweetthis]
Let’s throw in the shovel we are using to move and improve the messes in our lives. Let’s seek God. Know Him. Rest in His promises.
All the important stuff has been taken care of – God removes our messes and God cleans us deep down in our hearts with His grace (divine transformation).
Let’s receive God’s beautiful Grace-over, rather than a self improvement makeover.
No need to wear the clothing of perfection or false piety. We’ve got the real thing!
Grace and peace be yours in abundance!
Joining Holley Gerth’s CoffeeformyHeart and Jennifer Dukes Lee TellMyStory, Thought Provoking Thursdays, RaRaLinkUp, Blessing Counter Link Up
“Grace grows best in mess.” That’s a great insight, Sandra. One I need. I was just thinking this morning about my kitchen mess, and how I felt bad to hear my husband in there washing the dishes. But it was grace! I can release my own guilt at not doing it earlier and instead recommit to being more prompt about it next time. 🙂 And thankful that I get to start fresh every morning.
Lisa, What a great example of small daily graces, and it’s opposing force – guilt. It reminds me of Lam 3 -“His compassions are new every morning” – how desperately I need fresh starts. Blessings!