Have you ever noticed that life is rather foggy?
We can feel sad and happy at the same time, or excited and scared to death. Contrary feelings coexist in my mind and confuse me.
Moments of clarity are not the norm. If we are honest with our deep down selves, we spend much of life in a place of ambivalence. It doesn’t mean we are untrue to ourselves, it just means life is hard and we often hold two contrary feelings in our hearts and head at one time.
Ambivalence is a red flag to our soul’s hunger.
Ambivalence turns the light on to what is happening in our hearts. Our fears. Our worries. Our resistance to change – even positive changes. We’re being moved – moved forward, moved into unknown territory. And we feel it.
These cause moments of unrest. Lack of peace. A misplacement of joy..
Doubts and questions seep into our minds. What’s happening? Is something wrong?
No. I think these moments of unrest and unease are part of our adjustment period and we must allow ourselves grace to feel all parts of the changes – the good, as well as the losses.
This unhinging of us reminds us of our need for a true center – a rock.
Our faltering hearts remind us we weren’t meant to have our life balanced by our children, or our happiness, but by the One who holds all things together. I expect perfect balance and peace – most of the time. Not. Realistic.
We don’t have full control over life. We feel it. We feel the rocking of the boat as life alters. We want to steady ourselves – maintain our balance. Sometimes, I want to move the people and circumstances around me to try to balance the boat.
That’s when I realize, I’m not the Captain of this ship!
I don’t even control the rudder. I can’t move things as I’d like.
Our unbalance – our unrest – is meant to remind us of our need for our True Rest. The Restorer. Our Rock.
“He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.” – Psalm 62:2
I need to see my ‘red flag’ moments with new vision. Give myself grace goggles.
A right view of myself – weak and weary – experiencing imbalances – and needing the Balancer to ‘right’ my life’s boat. He’s got the power. The influence.
More than that, He can be trusted with my hurting heart, that’s feeling some aches and strains from life’s bumpy road.
Sometimes I think I made a wrong turn. Sometimes I do.
But, sometimes I just need to acknowledge the journey’s on an unpaved road, full of boulders, and holes, and a dusty windshield that clouds my ability to see the road’s hazards clearly.
It’s OK. I just need to adjust.
Put on my high powered grace goggles and see the landscape for what it is – bumpy. And, see myself for what I am – a bit bruised. Hungry. Needy. Scared.
God’s got the roadmap. He offers me a handhold. His. To hold me up. To pull me out of the ruts in the road I find myself stuck in. He can be trusted.
Today, may your faltering heart be steadied by the One True Rock. May God restore your balance and give you rest.
Linking up with LetsHaveCoffee with Holley, Lyli’s FaithonFire
Great reminder that He can be trusted with my hurting heart.
Thanks for stopping by. God bless!