How to Love Your Neighbor as Yourself

Are you, like me – selfish? Do you want your own way? Do you like your own stuff? How do we reconcile our human nature with God’s command to us to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’?

Getting along is tough. You can witness the reality if you go to any school playground across the country, or any boardroom.  Human nature wants it’s own way. Me-me-me is the cry of our hearts.

Mine!

It is at the heart of almost every struggle we get ourselves into – at work, with our spouses, with ourselves. We want something .

And, usually, if you’re like me, you want it for yourself –

Mine!

When we are fighting with someone, we consider it a battle of ‘wills’, but, I believe, it is usually a battle of ‘wants’. To do it ‘my’ way, to follow ‘my’ plan, ‘my’ timing, meet ‘my’ needs.

To be honest, I think the most challenging call of Christians is to love each other, ‘as ourselves’. Because, if you’re like me, I like my own way best, and I like to look to my own interest’s first.

 “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Romans 13:9

Every time I read these words, I stop. My mouth goes dry. I pause, wondering…

How?

How can me, the most selfish of people, love others ‘as myself‘’? See, I might do OK if God said ‘Love your neighbor’, period. I truly do love people. The problem comes in with ‘as yourself’. Really? Who do I think of…….

First?

Meaning, put others first, like I do myself. Consider others feelings, first. Consider other’s ways of doing things, first. Putting another’s interests, first!

I come the closest to following this command with my children. Putting them first is easy, but ‘my neighbor’ may be someone very different than a family member. How do we apply these truths thinking about a person there is a possibility I don’t like, I may not trust, and maybe I don’t really want to hang out with? Before myself! First!

If that Romans verse wasn’t enough of a challenge, God adds a wee bit more to the ‘neighbor challenge’. My only question is….

How?

Do not judge. The oops starts here!

                  Accept one another. Another oops!

                                 Please our neighbor. You know it – another oops.

The challenge keeps growing harder, more contrary to ‘my’ nature.

Oops again!

In my overactive imagination I’m ‘seeing’ a picture of two buttons – ACCEPT or REJECT. Perhaps, this is a place for me to start, with loving my neighbor. Stop passing judgment and accept. Choose to ACCEPT not REJECT others. Approaching others with love, not judgment.

STOP over thinking………. usually a sign of judgment brewing! Get off the throne.

Let go of the gavel –

• of grumbling
• and complaining
• and comparing.

Stop tearing down the building –

• Other’s behavior,
• their choices,
• and their ways.

I need to release my ‘gavel of judgment’. Release the negative thought or comment. Release the other person.

Return to GO. Go to ‘Grace’. Begin being a grace giver. Grace is ‘ready favor’ (Ann Voskamp’s definition in her “One Thousand Gifts” book). Ready. Ready to give favor. Perhaps the first favor is accepting another.

Letting go of the details of another’s life

and choices to the One who truly understands and who acts and moves in love for each of us to bring about our best. First, letting go of my wants, next, letting go of the Sandraj improvement plans, trusting God’s transformation plans are even better!

God’s plan – the HE plans. Let go of the ME plans and trust God and the HE plans!

**Lord, Teach me to be a grace giver and to honor others before myself. Help me release my judgments of others and my wants and move me in love, to be like You.

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